Obama’s Memoir Admits Reading Marx in College Was “A Strategy to Pick Up Girls”

So that’s how he landed Michelle.

Former President Barack Obama has revealed in his new (some may say entirely unnecessary) memoir, “A Promised Land,” that he read Marx in college as part of “a strategy for picking up girls.”

One imagines this tactic could likely be behind much of the rise on left-wing radicalism across college campuses as there remains no logical explanation for why anyone would consider a political philosophy that has failed every single time it’s been tried worth studying at an expensive university otherwise.

Daniel Steinmetz-Jenkins, a postdoctoral fellow in history at Dartmouth College, drew attention to the fond memories of our most radical U.S. president in a viral tweet.

Including a photo of an excerpt that is apparently from the memoir (the first of a two-parter) and captioned it “Obama on his how his discovery of Marx and Foucault in college became inseparable from ‘a strategy for picking up girls.'””

Good thing that strategy worked or Obama might have resorted to date rape drugs.

The excerpt reveals that Obama read Karl Marx and Herbert Marcuse (the father of critical theory), “so I had something to say to the long-legged socialist who lived in my dorm,” while he opted for Frantz Fanon and Gwendolyn Brooks “for the smooth-skinned sociology major who never gave me a second look,” and Michel Foucault and Virginia Woolf “for the ethereal bisexual who wore mostly black.”

So it wasn’t just one book or one ideological radical. Obama had a slew of reading choices for the shallow purpose of seducing a series of women who otherwise wouldn’t have paid him any mind.

Obama admits that his “pseudo-intellectualism proved mostly worthless; I found myself in a series of affectionate but chaste friendships.”

Sounds like it worked about as well as “hope” and “change” did for our nation under his leadership.

So what happened? His reading plan didn’t work out for chasing skirt so he adopted his new-found ideology as a strategy for ruining the greatest country on earth instead?

Voters, it seems, were more receptive to his deception than the girls at his college. And look how well that worked out for us.